I think at this point we should throw you into a padded room because you sound dangerous to society. I can tell your starving for attention, but this isn't the way to that. Keep trying to convince yourself that this stuff you write is true, because you know that not only does God exist but Jesus is the way of life. Yeah, I hate the way the world is sometimes too, but it doesn't mean popping off at God and the world. When your over your little tempertantrum let us know. Shalom.

Guess I came across kind of harsh without knowing much of the story. I hope things work out for you guys and we will be praying for you.

If there was any way that I could think of to console you, I would try. I will pray that you find your peace, and that your family will find joy.

It's very hard to flounder around with out the religious life preserver that has been keeping you afloat. I know when I decided that my parents ideas of religion and god didn't jibe for me I felt really... adrift, and I wasn't overly invested in their dogma to start out with.

My advice is to give it time. Give your soul/psyche/whateveryouwanttocallit a chance to just be. And see where you feel drawn from there. I think that lots of religions have lots of good things to say. I can't say that I think that any organized religion ever has it right though.

Good luck.

well, Western Mysticism is very similar to Eastern religions you know.

And if God isn't real, how is fate real?

oh yeah, how come you're part of the Catholic Convert Blogring?

Just wondering and will pray for you.
Oh yeah, and stop trying to make God.

matt-

if 'god is dead', then "we have killed him" says nietzsche (the gay science). i don't believe this proclomation 'god is dead' can be authentically taken as an absolute (in it's nihlistic sense) statement of faith.

without an absolute, there can be nothing to derive absolute beliefs.

i tend to agree that the utopian escapist message proclaimed by many express a journey in missing the point and do not reflect the message of Jesus (or others, even others who are not viewed as being within the horizon of 'christianity').

I think you touched on a real key point in your last post. you wrote, "Life has shown me something; if this is a test, then we're all doomed to fail before we begin."  For me, that is exactly how I am certain that Jesus is the only way I can get through it and not end up perpetually angry, divorced, in jail, or in hell.

When you signed up for Christianity, you were introduced to the Bible. The Spirit of God even made things in it clear to you... enough so that you became a Pastor. In your readings and teachings, maybe you read verses about the difficulty of the Christian life. Maybe something Paul wrote can break through to you even now... about the trials, tribulations, and suffering we will each be called to for His name's sake?

If you're not too opposed to it at this point, read 2 Corinthians 6:3-10. We are warned. In John 14, Jesus himself even tells us how the world will hate us. We were never promised an easy life, and if that's what you're looking for, then you won't find that in life with Christ. But you also won't find love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those are blessings only God offers through His Spirit. So is the trade-off worth it? It's a free will you have.